Seeking refuge in illusion
As I pondered exactly how I, how we humans seek refuge, I realize it is ourselves that we seek refuge from in the first place. We seek refuge from the lies created from our egoic characters. We seek refuge from the separation that we created from Source, from union and oneness in bliss. We seek refuge from our own decision as Source to separate and divide, even down to the microscopic level continuing to divide as cells. We create illusion to make our division real and believable, yet we are deeply dissatisfied by our division, and so we seek refuge.
Sometimes in the warmth of the sun, in a gentle breeze, when the birds sing and the hummingbird dashes by I feel reposed and secluded from the delusion and comforted , swaddled in the oneness. A moment under a moon shinning silver and magical moon, I look away and it has gone disappeared, it is just an illusion. Everything is an illusion in the separation. It must be a mirage, a dream, as we are Brahaman, and we created it. So, how do I seek refuge? I seek refuge in sensory overload. I seek refuge in escape, to dull the razors edge, to erase the demarcation of the separation from self with self.
We are constantly watched you see. We are the observer, watching, and listening. As I also ponder a thesis statement for my research paper, I will quote, Fitzgerald from The Great Gatsby, “I was within and without,” that is it. We are the observed and the observer, it can be very disconcerting to be omnipresent and yet somnambulist. In the yoga of meditation we merge with self, and in that silence there is refuge.
John William Waterhouse